Thursday, March 28, 2013

9 Months

Our little angel is 9 months..TODAY! Doesn't she just radiate light? We are blessed and full of gratitude. 

Thank you for the happiest nine months of our lives Ellie!

Thursday, March 21, 2013


Stress. That is what I feel. A lot. All day, every day this week. Is it ever going to end?

 We took Ellie on her first road trip last weekend to Idaho and had a great time visiting my mom. We went up to the BYU-Idaho flower show on Saturday and probably exposed Ellie to the world more than she has ever been in her whole life. Ismael and I let our guard down on protecting her and thought she would be fine. It felt so good to feel like a normal family for a day and be able to take Ellie out. We enjoyed it, and Ellie enjoyed it. 

On Monday afternoon Ellie started acting really fussy and like she wasn't feeling good. I got worried, of course. I could tell she wasn't acting herself and as the day progressed, her work of breathing became harder. She wasn't taking good naps and just wanted me to hold her. At about 12 am, we decided that we needed to take her into the hospital. She had a fever and was up to 5 Liters on her oxygen requirement. She was head bobbing and a little lethargic. 

On our way up to the ER, Ellie continued to struggle to breath. I sat in the back seat with her, like I always do. Luckily, we only live 10 minutes away from Primary Children's. Ellie was really struggling to breath hard again and was very upset because she couldn't breath as well in her carseat. I finally just took her out and held her so she would calm down and breath better. 

When we got to the ER check in desk, Ellie vomited all over herself and me. Since Ellie has a trach and wasn't looking so good, they got us back in fast to the triage and we didn't have to wait too long. They put an IV in her and took some blood work. We had to hold her down for that and she was not very happy at all. They also swabbed her nose to see if she had any viruses. Ellie was so mad after that and clingy to me. If anyone would even come near her to touch her, she would scream. We waited so long in the ER. They gave Ellie some motrin for her fever and she seemed to be doing better. They we also able to give her a little more oxygen support. Finally the results came back and she had rhinovirus, which is a common cold. Since she was doing a little better than when we came, they decided to just admit us to the infant unit. We waited until 7:15 am to get to her room. It was such a long night in the ER with no sleep.

When we got to the infant unit, Ellie started to not do so well again. They decided it would be best to just transfer her to the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) where they could give her more breathing support. They also had to poke her heels a couple of more time to get blood gases. 

When we got to the PICU, they put Ellie on the CPAP and it helped her so much. She was able to rest a little but it was hard because it was so loud around and everything in the hospital was so stimulating to her compared to home. Ismael and I were so exhausted, physically and emotionally. 

That afternoon, my sister Chrissy and her husband Jared came to visit us. It was so great to see her! I was also able to meet her baby, Paige, who is just a doll. We were planning on spending a lot of time together this week. By the evening, I was so tired and could feel myself coming down with a cold. I was going to stay the night with Ellie so Ismael could stay home and rest, because he had to go to work the next day.

 Since I wasn't feeling too good, Ismael let me stay home and rest the whole night.When he brought me home, I was having a hard time. I hate leaving Ellie. Its so hard for me to think of her alone in the hospital. I know she had great people taking care of her though. As Ismael and I have gone through this trial, we have been stretched. I have never felt so heartbroken but so much love at the same time. We go to bed every night exhausted from taking care of Ellie, and it can be easy to lose patience with one another when we are so tired. We each have to do our part and we couldn't do it without each other. We are learning how to really work together as companions. We have relied on the Atonement to strengthen us and help us get through things we couldn't alone. I know that our burdens have been made lighter and are possible for us to carry because of Jesus Christ. As I was having a hard time this night, Ismael reminded me of this truth and I had the most overcoming feeling that my Savior knew what I was feeling and loved me and was proud of me. I never want to forget that. 

 I am so grateful to Ismael for letting me get rest that night and for his sacrifice to stay at the hospital. I was able to rest easier because I knew he was there with Ellie. The next morning I woke up with a full on cold too. 

We were able to take Ellie off CPAP yesterday and she did excellent. She has been very active in the hospital this whole time and it has been hard to keep her contained in her bed and it is hard to hold her while she is attached to so many things. Since she was doing to good, we were able to bring her home last night. 

Ellie was so happy to be home last night. To top things off, when we were getting Ellie ready to go to bed, she was being a little crazy. I went to the kitchen and Ismael was sitting by Ellie on the bed. Apparently he turned to get something and thought I was still there watching Ellie. Ellie fell off our bed. Yes, we are horrible. Luckily she didn't hit very hard and landed on carpet and didn't hit her head. She didn't even cry, she was actually smiling. After a minute, I noticed Ellie's g-tube wasn't in! It had popped out fully inflated (which must have been extremely painful). I hurried and deflated the balloon and Ismael popped the tube back in and I inflated the balloon. I can't believe none of this even phased her. 

Ellie slept great last night and woke up about 5:30 this morning. She was breathing hard again, so I have been a little more stressed because Ismael is working in Park City and I don't have anyone close to call in case I need to take her in to the hospital again. She is back asleep. As I type this I just watch her pulse oximeter to monitor her oxygen and heart rate. 

Oh life is so great, and we sure love this little girl. 

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